Friday, July 1, 2016

jimjustselling . . .


(Actually, I'm not, but the good folks at HenschelHAUS are. And they're now offering FREE SHIPPING IN THE CONTINENTAL U.S. 
https://henschelhausbooks.com/product/lol-i-gags/


The book is also available at:

CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS

What they're saying about Jim's provocative blog:
--"The one thing I didn't delete from my private server."--Hillary Clinton
--"He's from this country, Mexicans don't read him, so that's good enough for me."--Donald Trump
--"Jim is obviously making a name for himself--Mr. Irrelevant!"--Don Rickles
--"Jimaschizzle!"--Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr. (aka Snoop Dogg)
--"The one thing I DO read!"--Sarah Palin
--"The most fun you can have with your clothes on (but DO take a shower afterwards)."--Dick Cavett

POPCORN

By Jim Szantor

Rhetorical questions, questionable rhetoric and whimsical observations 
about the absurdities of contemporary life
  • I don't wish her any ill, but if Cher doesn't die fairly soon, the National Enquirer's credibility is going to be completely shot!
  • Think about it:  How is our ineffectual grid-locked government going to mend our infrastructure, manage climate change, reform gun laws and handle all the other monumental challenges facing us when they can't even phase out the penny--something many people agree should have been done at least 10 years ago?  That's a walk in the park compared to the other stuff, yet we can't even get to first base with that!   Not encouraging.
  • TV talker of the past I miss the most:  Tom Snyder 
  • Terror talk.  Why terrorists  seem to encounter little or no resistance when they attack in airports, nightclubs, etc.:  Ever seen a security guard who looks like a super-fit Navy SEALs type whose presence made you feel safe and ultra-secure?  I doubt it.  Most of them look like bored, out-of--shape clockwatchers who probably aren't well paid and don't enjoy their work.  I'mjustsayin' . . . .
  • Benghazi hearing takeaway:  There will never be a (U.S. Rep.) Trey Gowdy Lookalike Contest.
  • jimjustsaying's Party Ice-Breaker of the Week:  "Say [actual partygoer's name here], did you know that a computer at the University of Central Michigan discovered the largest prime number: 274,207,281 – 1.  It consists of more than 22 million digits and is only divisible by 1 and itself and that writing the number by hand would take three months and require 7,000 sheets of paper?"
  • You're an old-timer if you can remember taking film canisters to the drug or photo store to get your pictures developed.
  • Best reader comment on a Wall St. Journal story on the Texas Rangers wanting to replace the stadium they built in the early 1990s with a new one:  "Professional sports [are] games played by millionaires on teams owned by billionaires in stadiums financed by taxpayers."
  • Speaking of sports, how is it that sportswriters with two years on the job can vote for the baseball Hall of Fame but Vin Scully can't?  He's only been broadcasting Dodgers games for 67 years and is widely considered the gold standard of baseball announcers!  Time to tweak the old parachment about HOF voting qualifications?
  • You know you’ve had too much to drink when you twist the cap off that last bottle of beer . . . and discover it wasn’t a twist-off-cap bottle of beer!  
  • I'm trying to get rid of most of the superfluous, "bloatware" apps on my iPhone.   In other words, I've got app-oplexy.
  • "The GOP would love to drop Trump now because it prefers a candidate in the party’s more subtle racist traditions."--Maureen Dowd, New York Times
  • Who invented podcasts?  You know something is of marginal value when no one has ever taken credit for it.
  • Why do people always badmouth neighboring states?  Are the people in them really that different?  Don't people make exceptions for friends or relatives living there?  You'd think there were ambushes, bombings and beheadings at the state lines the way some people talk.  (Wait, that's probably not as far-fetched as I thought it was when I first wrote it.)
  • Faded phrases:  When was the last time you put on your best bib and tucker, cut a mean rug and then peeled out in your jalopy?  
  • You've probably heard about a dating service called It's Just Lunch. Well, in today's hyperactive, short-attention-span world, even lunch is too long an encounter or commitment for some people.  So herewith jimjustsaying's new dating service:  It's Just Water Cooler. Because, let's face it, you can usually tell in the first minute or two if you want to spend a third minute with that person.
  • I have no idea what a "meme" is and have an inkling that it's a faddish word 99 percent of the population can do without.  
  • "For decades, entertainers have been able to maintain custody of their image, regardless of their conduct.  Many had entire crews of dust busters who came behind them and cleaned up their messes. Those days are history.  It doesn’t really matter now what the courts or the press do or decide.  When enough evidence and pushback rears into view, a new apparatus takes over, one that is viral, relentless and not going to forgive or forget."--David Carr, New York Times ,on the Bill Cosby controversy.
  • Well said.  Anyone who has become enmeshed in a high-profile sex scandal is going to have their obituary lead with that, even if that person had brokered a lasting peace in the Middle East and invented a low-cost, foolproof cure for cancer and the common cold.
  • jimjustsaying's Click Bait Topic of the Month: "22 celebrities with a body part you don't know about."
  • The Brave New World of Cheating, Thai division:  A top medical school voided the results of an entrance exam after prospective students were caught cheating with hidden cameras and smartwatches, The Week reported. 
  • The rector of Rangsit University said three students used glasses with cameras embedded in the frames to send test questions to people outside the exam room, who then transmitted answers to the students’ smartwatches. 
  • The reaction?  On social media, some Thais expressed admiration for the cheaters’ ingenuity. “Like Hollywood or Mission Impossible,” wrote one.   
  • Is anyone surprised by that reaction, given that the cheating is pretty tame compared to the sex slavery that Thailand is synonyous with?
  • "It's not what they say about you, it's what they whisper."--Errol Flynn
  • Seventy-third Wisconsin Town I Didn't Know Existed Until I Saw It Mentioned in a Green Bay Press-Gazette Obituary: Navarino. (R.I.P., Betty Marie Tischler, Green Bay Press-Gazette obituary, March 16, 2016).  Previous entries: Athelstane, Walhain, Duck Creek, Breed, Anston, Sobieski, Amberg, Osseo, Angelica, Brazeau, Waukechon, Sugar Camp, Kossuth, Lessor, Kunesh, Pulcifer, Cato, Florence, Greenleaf, Eaton, Poygan, Hofa Park, Hilbert, Hollandtown, Beaufort, Glennie, Harshaw, Bessemer, Crooked Lake, Tigerton, Goodman, Readstown, Dousman, Butternut, Montpelier, Cecil, Red River, Gillet, King, Laona, Kelly Lake, Glenmore, Tonet, Stiles, Morrison, Dunbar, Askeaton, Wild Rose. Neopit, Ellisville, Pickett, Flintville,  Forest Junction, Thiry Daems, Black Creek,  Mountain, Ledgeview, Lunds, Suring, Lakewood, Beaver, Cloverleaf Lakes, Krakow,  Pella, Townsend, Vandenbroek, Coleman,  Spruce, Armstrong Creek, Lake Gogebic, North Chase and Pequot Lakes.
  • Newspaper Obituary Headline Nickname of the Month: Tubby.  As in Everett Lee "Tubby"Hall,  Kenosha (Wis.) News,, May 13, 2016. R.I.P., Mr. Hall.
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Haud, muneris, illic nusquam in vehiculum vos postulo ut fatigo super. ("No, officer, there's nothing in the car you need to be concerned about.")

THE QUOTE RACK

Free money for all?
What if every American received an annual stipend from the government?This seemingly radical proposal, called a universal basic income, may be an idea whose time has come.  Finland is running a basic-income experiment next year, and a Silicon Valley venture capital firm will soon launch a trial program in Oakland. Champions on the left say a basic income would help battle poverty and inequality, and make it easier for people to take risks with their job choices.  Advocates on the right prefer it as a simpler, and more libertarian, alternative to bureaucratic welfare programs.

Critics scoff at such arguments, saying that handing out cash will produce a nation of lazy, demoralized people.  But when the Canadian province of Manitoba tried a basic income in the mid-1970s, working hours dropped by just 1 percent.  Meanwhile, people’s quality of life improved markedly, with lower hospitalization rates and increased school attendance.  The cost of a basic income in the U.S.--estimated at 12 to 13 percent of GDP--likely renders the scheme politically impossible for now.

But don’t forget that Social Security and Medicare were also once dismissed as being "unworkable and socialist."  We may come to see the idea as insurance against a radically changing job market, rather than simply as a handout.
--James Surowiecki, New Yorker

Does Putin favor Trump or Clinton?
The Kremlin isn’t taking sides in the U.S. presidential race.  Hillary Clinton has warned that if Donald Trump wins the presidency, "they’ll be celebrating in the Kremlin."  But political analysts in Russia say it’s not that clear-cut.  It’s true that during Soviet times as well as more recently, our leaders have found Republican administrations easier to negotiate with--more deals and accords have been struck under Republican presidents than under Democratic ones.

But the Kremlin is wary of Trump, says analyst Vadim Kozyulin, because he is "a person of emotions, lacking sophisticated knowledge and experience in foreign policy."  On the other hand, there’s reason for caution about Clinton, because she is more interventionist, "always on the lookout for an overseas mission for the U.S. armed forces."  But she’s also pragmatic and would know better than to antagonize Russia when the real threat to America is China.  No matter who wins, the Kremlin doesn’t expect U.S.-Russian relations to improve.  Political scientist Fyodor Voitolovsky says if he were advising President Vladimir Putin, he would suggest having neither gleeful illusions about Trump nor gruesome apprehensions about Clinton.
--Vladimir Mikheev, Rbth.ru

Averting a post-antibiotic apocalypse
Antibiotic-resistant bacteria could become a bigger killer than cancer by 2050, unless drastic action is taken to curb the excessive use of existing drugs and spur the development of new ones.  That’s the stark conclusion of a major two-year review of antimicrobial resistance.  The dwindling arsenal of effective antibiotics could make minor infections and routine surgeries like C-sections life-threatening.  The report estimates that drug-resistant superbugs, which already kill 700,000 people a year, could claim as many as 10 million lives each year by the middle of the century.  Researchers [recently] reported finding a superbug resistant to antibiotics of last resort in a Pennsylvania woman, suggesting that such untreatable bacteria may become prevalent in the U.S.

The study’s authors, who were commissioned by the British government, make several proposals. They advise governments to set strict limits on the use of antibiotics in agriculture and to provide significant financial incentives for pharmaceutical companies to develop new antibiotics.  They also recommend launching a global awareness campaign to increase understanding of antimicrobial resistance.  "We need to inform in different ways, all over the world, why it’s crucial we stop treating our antibiotics like sweets," study author Jim O’Neill told BBC.com. "If we don’t solve the problem, we are heading to the dark ages, [and] we will have a lot of people dying."
--The Week

Wrong about sluggish wages?
You’ve probably heard the endlessly repeated complaint that Americans’ wages have stagnated.  But what if it’s not true?  A new study from the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco complicates this conventional wisdom, concluding that widely cited figures showing stagnation are mostly a statistical fluke.

In fact, wage increases for workers continuously employed in full-time jobs outpaced inflation from 2002 to 2015.  Last year, for instance, paychecks actually grew 3.5 percent after inflation, up from 1.2 percent in 2010.  The confusion probably stems from the fact that most pundits and politicians cite the median wage as evidence that Americans aren’t getting raises.  But the median wage figure--the wage exactly in the middle of all wages--is misleading, because it is heavily influenced by demographic changes. In recent years, an influx of young and part-time workers appears to have helped drag it down; at the same time, the higher salaries of retiring Baby Boomers no longer prop it up.  If this study is right, and demographic forces are obscuring the wage gains of millions of Americans, it would solve a major mystery that has vexed economists--namely, why wages haven’t increased alongside the recovery’s uptick in hiring.
--Robert Samuelson, Washington Post

The darker side of Ali
The saintly Muhammad Ali is a cultural fiction. The Black Muslim movement he joined was radical and racist and opposed both women’s equality and racial integration.  "A black man should be killed if he’s messing around with a white woman,” he said soon after his conversion.  "No intelligent person wants to mix races."  He could be needlessly cruel, humiliating wives with public affairs and mocking black opponents--particularly the dignified Joe Frazier--as "Uncle Toms."
--David Marcus, TheFederalist.com

America’s new state religion
California is in the grip of an incipient state religion.  The religion is liberal secularism, and it’s no less intolerant and dogmatic than the state religions of Saudi Arabia, Iran, or the former Soviet Union.  California’s legislature has introduced a bill that would forbid religious universities and schools from discriminating against students, faculty, or administrators based on sexual orientation or gender identity--making it illegal for a conservative Christian school, for example, to turn away students or teachers who do not share its stated religious beliefs.

Another bill, "the Orwellian-named 'California Climate Science Truth and Accountability Act of 2016,' " would enable the state to prosecute any individual or company that has challenged the orthodoxy on climate change.  These proposed laws reflect a highly authoritarian and illiberal brand of progressivism that now insists there is only one correct--and legal--view on controversial issues, such as gender and bathrooms, racism, gay marriage and climate change.  A nation founded on free expression and respect for individual liberty is transitioning into a one-party state where, increasingly, only the most orthodox views can be tolerated.  That’s not the nation our Founders had in mind.
--Joel Kotkin, Orange County Register

The smug tyranny of the intelligent
This is a terrible time to not be brainy.  Until a few decades ago, your IQ was not the single most important factor in your life’s trajectory. Employers hunting for both blue- and white-collar workers were less concerned with elite degrees and grades than "integrity, work ethic, and a knack for getting along."  But today, IQ has become equivalent to human worth, determining your fate--whom you marry, how much money you make and where you live. If you aren’t conventionally intelligent--with book smarts and high SATs--you’re sneeringly dismissed as "stupid."  Positions that you can hold without a college degree are disappearing, largely taken over by automation.  Even in our romantic lives, people rate intelligence as more important in a partner than looks, domestic skills or an agreeable personality.

Sadly, our education system is failing to close the intelligence gap, especially for the poor: Only about one in three American high school students achieves SAT scores that enable them to get into and do well in college. Where does that leave the other two-thirds? Our society cannot reserve all its rewards for the smart minority, and exclude everyone else.
--David Freedman, TheAtlantic.com

THE LINK TANK

Trade errors a Trump specialty
His 'policy' is a scam, skillfully pitched to fool the gullible
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chapman/ct-donald-trump-trade-nafta-china-korea-chapman-0630-jm-20160629-column.html#nt=oft13a-10gp1

What to ask the Libertarian ticket
Stances on everything from pot to foreign policy to trade will reveal much
https://shar.es/1JUE5e

The end of economic forecasting
Dominance of finance has made volatility the new normal
http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-end-of-economic-forecasting-1466723149

Specter of a recession hangs over Hillary
If one is coming, it could transform the campaign
http://link.washingtonpost.com/click/6898397.41938/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cud2FzaGluZ3RvbnBvc3QuY29tL29waW5pb25zL3RoZS1zcGVjdGVyLWhhbmdpbmctb3Zlci1oaWxsYXJ5LWNsaW50b24tLWEtcmVjZXNzaW9uLzIwMTYvMDYvMDgvMDhhYzBkYTItMmQ5YS0xMWU2LTliMzctNDI5ODVmNmEyNjVjX3N0b3J5Lmh0bWw_d3BtbT0xJndwaXNyYz1ubF9vcGluaW9ucw/5483c2293b35d0de428f8e75Bbf03653f 

Clinton's VP choice
Selection of running mate reveals much of candidate's priorities
https://shar.es/1JSlaT

The plague of things that are too long
Movies, baseball games, root canals and other things in a society that doesn’t know when to stop
http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-plague-of-things-that-are-too-long-1463070060 

A cure for decision fatigue
Choosing not to make choices might be the best response to the daily avalanche of options
http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-cure-for-decision-fatigue-1465596928

Turn off the nagging self-doubt in your head
Surprisingly simple steps can help you feel more positive
http://www.wsj.com/articles/steps-to-turn-off-the-nagging-self-doubt-in-your-head-1465838679

What time is it in Chile?
Government has tinkered with daylight-saving time dates, putting clocks on cellphones and computers out of whack
http://www.wsj.com/articles/what-time-is-it-in-chile-theres-no-telling-1463063085

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

POPCORN

By Jim Szantor

Rhetorical questions, questionable rhetoric and whimsical observations 
about the absurdities of contemporary life
  • Remember when you had to go to a carnival sideshow to see the tattooed lady?  Now she’s your kid’s third grade teacher!
  • Headline of the Month:  "Lady Gaga and Dalai Lama discuss compassion" (MSN.COM)
  • jimjustsaying's Supermarket Find of the Week:  Black Forest brand Organic  Gummy Bears and Gummy Worms.  Organic???  
  • Related Supermarket Find (in the New Apple Varieties I've Never Seen Before department): Kanzi, Kiku, Opal and Antares.
  • In Wisconsin, we're now in the latter part of what I call the “sweet spot season”:  Too warm for the furnace, cool enough not to need the air.  
  • Of course, at this time of year I'm usually watching a lot of baseball. Otherwise, I'm usually reading Homer in the original Greek!
  • Sorely needed:  Explanation of how 7 inches of rain can make a river rise 22 feet!  But you hear figures like that all the time on the Weather Channel.
  • A feature of the National Enquirer back in the day that I miss the most:  "The Wacky Way I Met My Mate."   Time to bring it back!
  • Not Making This Up Dept.: A Virginia woman’s obituary listed the upcoming presidential election as her cause of death.   The Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch obit began:  “Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland chose instead to pass into the eternal love of God.” (My take:  An Independent with a great sense of humor.)
  • Related thought:  If there had already been a female president (or two) in the U.S., would Hillary even be running?  
  • Don't know about you, but it seems that every other week or so I read about someone being elected (or a decedent who had been elected) to a "Hall of Fame" whose existence almost seems a joke.   Maybe there really is a Curtain Rod Installers Hall of Fame. 
  • More of jimjustsaying's Useful Words That Have No English equivalent: razliubit--Russian for "the emotion of falling out of love."   And then there is age-otori, Japanese for "the regret one feels after getting a bad haircut."
  • jimjustsaying's Word That Should Exist But Doesn't of the Month:  "Essoasso."  A person who cuts through a gas station to avoid a red light."--"Unexplained Sniglets of the Universe," Rich Hall and Friends
  • jimjustsaying's Top Five Click Bait Topics of the Month: 
  • 7 things you didn't know about the real Col. Sanders
  • Surprising things that make you stink
  • 10 celebrities you forgot committed horrible crimes
  • 15 celebs who look hottest with a beard
  • Shocking photos of history's most evil people when they were kids.
  • French Novelist Quote of the Month:  "To make anything interesting you simply have to look at it long enough."--Gustave Flaubert
  • Chicago Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg on the city's huge population loss (and its "leader"):  "That leaves the city with 2,720,546 people, if you count Rahm Emanuel as being both a person and alive and not some kind of strange animate corpse lurching around town trying to find a safe, sunless place to reveal himself and feed on the popularity of the living."  
  • I was in a restaurant not long ago that had the television tuned to a Stanley Cup game between the New York Islanders and the Florida Panthers.  Really?  How can there be a hockey team in a state that has never had a sheet of natural ice in its history? 
  • Upon further investigation, I learn that there is even another team in that state (Tampa Bay Lightning) and even an Arizona Coyotes team. What's next, a beach volley ball team in Antarctica?
  • Pastime Imponderable of the Month:  Men (and I know a few of them) who hunt, fish, do carpentry and other so-called "manly things" yet profess no interest whatsoever in baseball or football or basketball and sometimes have wives who do.  Strange.
  • I shudder to think how many times I'm going to hear the words "presumptive nominee" between now and the political conventions.  (Especially painful when you don't like either of the persons to whom that term applies.)
  • “When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert: we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits.”--Frank Skinner, British comedian
  • Why you're running late:  According to a study cited in the Wall Street Journal, traffic can slow even without heavy volume because of driver reaction time. Even when the number of vehicles shouldn't tax a road, "a small perturbation--such as a slight deceleration by one car--can ripple through the cars behind them, as they brake in reaction." 
  • Japanese researchers assigned roughly two dozen drivers to cruise along a closed circular track at about 20 miles per hour. After some time, a jam developed, and the cars within it ground to a halt--even though no one ahead of them actually stopped!
  • The global village hits home:  The thumb drive I just bought came with instructions in--count ’em--18 languages. 
  • Seventy-second Wisconsin Town I Didn't Know Existed Until I Saw It Mentioned in a Green Bay Press-Gazette Obituary: Pequot Lakes, Wis.. (R.I.P., Charles L. Wall, Green Bay Press-Gazette obituary, Sept. 3, 2015).  Previous entries: Athelstane, Walhain, Duck Creek, Breed, Anston, Sobieski, Amberg, Osseo, Angelica, Brazeau, Waukechon, Sugar Camp, Kossuth, Lessor, Kunesh, Pulcifer, Cato, Florence, Greenleaf, Eaton, Poygan, Hofa Park, Hilbert, Hollandtown, Beaufort, Glennie, Harshaw, Bessemer, Crooked Lake, Tigerton, Goodman, Readstown, Dousman, Butternut, Montpelier, Cecil, Red River, Gillet, King, Laona, Kelly Lake, Glenmore, Tonet, Stiles, Morrison, Dunbar, Askeaton, Wild Rose, Neopit, Ellisville, Pickett, Flintville,  Forest Junction, Thiry Daems, Black Creek,  Mountain, Ledgeview, Lunds, Suring, Lakewood, Beaver, Cloverleaf Lakes, Krakow, Pella, Townsend, Vandenbroek, Coleman,  Spruce, Armstrong Creek, Lake Gogebic and North Chase.
  • Newspaper Obituary Headline Nickname of the Month:  Boo-Boo.  As in Cheryl A. "Boo-Boo" Buss,  Green Bay Press-Gazette, April 15, 2016.  R.I.P., Ms. Buss.
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Quid quemlibet hominem ad suffragium?  ("How could anybody vote for that man?")


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

POPCORN

By Jim Szantor

Rhetorical questions, questionable rhetoric and whimsical observations 
about the absurdities of contemporary life
  • Three things I don't pretend to understand:  Bitcoins, Snapchat and RSS feeds.  (Close behind:  Instagram, Buzzfeed and Prince, all due respect.)
  • Let's see if I've got this right:  Our government is dysfunctional, our Supreme Court is paralyzed, our infrastructure is crumbling, our climate concerns are largely ignored, yet the premier issue these days seems to be where the minuscule percentage of the population that is transgender can go to the bathroom.   Whatta country!
  • In other words, you could say that the body politic has become the shoddy politic.
  • "It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office."--Shirley MacLaine
  • I had quite a few medical tests (colonoscopy, etc., etc.) performed lately and passed all of them "with flying colors," I was told.  Hmmm.  Red is a color,isn't it?  Flags fly, don't they?  But apparently there were none of those.
  • News you probably missed:   California nuts have become so lucrative that an organized band of thieves has stolen 31 shipments of almonds and pistachios worth $9 mil­lion, the Los Angeles Times reports.  "Nuts don’t have serial numbers," an insurance company executive said.  "The product is easy to move, and the evidence is consumed."
  • I think I've finally put my finger on what Hillary Clinton's clothing  reminds me of:  Indoor-outdoor carpeting!
  • Piling on:  Remember when people called Illinois native and former Arkansas resident Hillary Clinton a "carpetbagger" when she ran for the senate in New York?   Carpetbagger?  That's not what she was, that's what she wears! That's one look.  As for the other, who ever thought a tarpaulin would be a good fashion look?
  • Grisly courtroom action (or, bad writing/editing, Chicago Sun-Times, April 29): "Daisy Gutierrez, 21, pleaded guilty to dismembering a body before Judge William Hooks, according to Cook County court records."
  • jimjustsaying's edited version:  Daisy Gutierrez, 21, pleaded guilty before Judge William Hooks to dismembering a body, according to Cook County court records.
  • How much would Major League Baseball attendance decline if beer sales were outlawed?  25 percent?  50 percent?  I'mjustsayin'.
  • Speaking of sports:  This ever happen to you?  You turn on a game and don't recognize either of the teams?
  • Remember when your favorite baseball team had two uniforms:  White for home games and those "gray traveling uniforms," as announcers used to call them?   Now they've got 5 or 6 sets, from "throwback unis" to camouflage outfits (for all you veterans out there) to this and that and whatever.   You turn on a game and are a bit puzzled about who really is playing.  This being an election year, perhaps the World Series teams will be wearing  American Flags or something suitably patriotic.
  • And then there's April 15, when every player on every team wears No. 42 in honor of Jackie Robinson.   What they should have been wearing:  Number  9.2, to reflect the appallingly low actual percentage of black players on Opening Day rosters this season (69 out of 750, if you do the math).
  • "Most rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read. "--Frank Zappa
  • jimjustsaying's As Seen on TV Product Name of the Week:  Angry-Mama microwave cleaner.  ($9.98)   ("Turn on the microwave and watch angry steam flow out of her head. . . .")
  • Radio News Redundancy of the Week:  "Violent extremists."  As in "Villagers in the town square were attacked by a group of violent extremists."   Um, aren't all extremists essentially violent?  As opposed to those placid, Milquetoasty extremists; you know, the kind who help little old ladies across the street and volunteer at the food pantry?  
  • jimjustsaying's Word That Should Exist But Doesn't of the Week:  "Oopzama":  The sudden scratching of the face or scalp upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.--"More Sniglets," Rich Hall & Friends.
  • Seventy-first Wisconsin Town I Didn't Know Existed Until I Saw It Mentioned in a Green Bay Press-Gazette Obituary: North Chase, Wis.. (R.I.P., Gladys Saindon, Green Bay Press-Gazette obituary, Nov. 12, 2015).  Previous entries: Athelstane, Walhain, Duck Creek, Breed, Anston, Sobieski, Amberg, Osseo, Angelica, Brazeau, Waukechon, Sugar Camp, Kossuth, Lessor, Kunesh, Pulcifer, Cato, Florence, Greenleaf, Eaton, Poygan, Hofa Park, Hilbert, Hollandtown, Beaufort, Glennie, Harshaw, Bessemer, Crooked Lake, Tigerton, Goodman, Readstown, Dousman, Butternut, Montpelier, Cecil, Red River, Gillet, King, Laona, Kelly Lake, Glenmore, Tonet, Stiles, Morrison, Dunbar, Askeaton, Wild Rose. Neopit, Ellisville, Pickett, Flintville,  Forest Junction, Thiry Daems, Black Creek,  Mountain, Ledgeview, Lunds, Suring, Lakewood, Beaver, Cloverleaf Lakes, Krakow,  Pella, Townsend, Vandenbroek, Coleman,  Spruce, Armstrong Creek and Lake Gogebic.
  • Newspaper Obituary Headline Nickname of the Month:  Big Papa.  As in Shaun "Big Papa" Hurning,  Green Bay Press-Gazette, April 5, 2016.  R.I.P., Mr. Hurning .
  • Old sayings that have  passed their expiration dates:  “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!”  "Don’t take any wooden nickels."  "A penny for your thoughts."
  • jimjustsaying's Party Ice-Breaker of the Week:  "Say [actual partygoer's name here], did you know that it takes 63,000 people to operate Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport?  That includes airline, ground transportation, concessionaire, security, federal government, city and airport tenant employees."  (On duty are two art department coordinators, a full-time wildlife biologist, engineers for the airport's Plane Train and Sky Train and a mobile medical response team that includes EMTs who jump on bicycles to cut down on the time it takes to respond to a medical emergency.)  
  • I consider myself the poor man's Joe Piscopo.  My best impression is Frank Sinatra Jr!
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Nihil hic, mi placet moveri. ("Nothing to see here, folks, please move along.")