Sunday, December 13, 2020


  By Jim Szantor

Rhetorical questions, questionable rhetoric and whimsical observations 
about the absurdities of contemporary life

  • Based on his bizarre rant at Donald Trump’s rally in Georgia, I’m beginning to think the My Pillow guy is a little soft in the head.

  • As most of you know, Dr. Sanjay Gupta is CNN’s chief medical correspondent. Lesser known at MSNBC is Dr. Vin Gupta (no relation).  I guess if you’re a cable TV station in need of a go-to medical guy, you gotta getta Gupta. 
  • I strongly suspect that people who are refusing to wear masks during the pandemic are probably the same people who never return their shopping carts to the cart corral.
  • Overheard: “Always answer the door with your coat on. If it's someone you like, you can tell them you just got home. If it's someone you don't like, you can tell them you were just leaving.”
  • How’s this for an off-the-wall PC position? A professor from the University of Massachusetts says referring to famous composers by their last name is racist and sexist. Writing in Slate​.com, Chris White argues that using “mono-names” for Mozart and Beethoven suggests that they are “on a different plane” from “suppressed nonwhite and nonmale” composers, and that “we need to ‘full-name’ all composers” to not perpetuate oppression. 
  • Comment:  I guess if Mozart and Beethoven felt oppressed, they kept it to themselves. Doesn’t seem to show up in their masterpieces.
  • Feeling blue over going green: Since recycling programs began, decades ago, less than 10 percent of consumer plastic has been recycled, says Internal plastic-industry documents reveal that industry leaders promoted recycling to assuage public concerns about plastic refuse, even though they knew that recycling plastic was too expensive and impractical to be adopted on a broad scale.
  • There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar--not that that ever happens anymore.
  • Did you know that there has never been a U.S. President who was an only child? Another barrier ready to be broken! 
  • Drudging Around: Nudist bed-and-breakfast closes for good in New Orleans . . . Lost hiker’s heart stops for 45 minutes; now he’s making miraculous recovery . . . Robot teacher big hit with university students . . . Dad becomes millionaire after 1.8m SPACE ROCK crashes through roof . . . ‘Orgasm cult’ run by ‘messianic’ female leader under FBI investigation . . . Intubated patient plays violin in ICU . . . Dog-sized lizards spreading across Southern states  . . . Bizarre snake-like worm invades Georgia . . . Man declared dead springs to life on embalming table . . . Taiwanese lawmakers throw pig guts on parliament floor to protest US imports . . . The pedophile doc who secretly impregnated countless with his own sperm . . . Giant rats sniffing out landmines and tuberculosis . . . Guests at gay ‘Daddy Orgy’ thought raiding cops were part of show . . ., The Appalachian preacher who tried to murder wife via snake bite . . . Cops: Mall Santa arrested for exposing himself to coworker. (Thanks, as always, to Matt Drudge as his merry band of aggregators for this month's jaw-droppers.)
  • “You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.”--Dorothy Parker
  • Fact:  Albert Einstein never learned how to drive a car.  (Hey, everyone has his or her limitations!)
  • jimjustsaying’s Party Ice-Breaker of the Month:  “Say [actual  party-attendees’ name here], did you know that two British film censors had to watch all 10 hours and 7 minutes of a film titled Paint Drying, showing nothing but a painted wall?”
  • According to news reports, Charlie Lyne made the film to protest the British Board of Film Classification’s fees, which he says cost an average of about $1,304 per film and penalize independent producers. The censors rated it “U,” meaning it’s appropriate for audiences over 4 years old. The board said that “examiners are required to watch a very wide variety of content every day, so this didn’t faze them.”
  • He should know: “There are two things that can destroy a family business: the family and the business.”--Former Estée Lauder CEO Leonard Lauder
  • “The project will improve an eight-lane section of the Interstate 5 Freeway to a joint just north of the Garden Highway.”—The Sacramento (Cal.) Bee, via “Still More Press Boners,” by Earle Tempel
  • jimjustsaying’s Word That Doesn’t Exist But Should of the Month: Vegeludes:  The individual pieces or kernels of corn that you end up chasing all over the plate.—“More Sniglets,” Rich Hall and Friends
  • All Over-rated Club, Press Box Division:  Joe Buck, Al Michaels and Tony Romo.
  • Redundancy Patrol:  Artificial prosthesis, basic necessities, close proximity. 
  • jimjustsaying’s Media Words of the Month (words you see in print or hear on radio or TV that no normal person ever uses in real life:  Foment/fomenting: (As in, “Unrest has been fomenting in the area in recent weeks since the prime minister’s ouster.”)
  • Newspaper Obituary Headline Nickname of the Month:  Ish.  As in, Jim “Ish” Herman, Door County Advocate, July 15, 2020.
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Scisco vestri medicus si Ozempic est vox vobis.  ("Ask your doctor if Ozempic is right for you.")