Thursday, October 6, 2016


By Jim Szantor

Rhetorical questions, questionable rhetoric and whimsical observations 
about the absurdities of contemporary life
  • Weird dream I had:  Donald Trump came up with 1040 excuses for not releasing his tax returns.
  • Safe bet:  Trump's ring tone is not "La Cucaracha."
  • "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal."--Emma Goldman
  • Why do guys keep getting haircuts that look like the barber went on strike in the middle of it? 
  • I feel sorry for anyone whose actual initials are WTF.  (As in Walter T. Farrell, Wanda Therese Farquar, etc.)
  • Sometimes, uncanny occurrences pop up inyour life;  most of the time, though, things are usually just canny.  
  • Annual Note to Media:  There is no such person as "Brangelina," so stop portmanteau-ing couple's names (same applies to "the Billary Clintons").    
  • Scary thought from a Psychology Today piece on narcissism:  A Machiavellian used to be a monster; now he's considered a well-adapted person who can succeed and get ahead.
  • Wouldn't the economy be better off if we dealt with Standard & Rich?
  • Reality shows:  Programming that puts the "func" in dysfunctional.
  • Smart phones?  If they're so smart, why can't they ever find a signal in rural areas?  (Can you hear me now, Apple and Samsung?)
  • Note to employers:  Before you hire someone, look inside the prospective employee's car.  It will tell you more about the actual person than the dating-behavior charade that is the official interview process.
  • Seventy-sixth Wisconsin Town I Didn't Know Existed Until I Saw It Mentioned in a Green Bay Press-Gazette Obituary: Humboldt, Wis.. (R.I.P. Wencil "Jim" K. Johanek, Green Bay Press-Gazette obituary, May 17, 2016).  Previous entries: Athelstane, Walhain, Duck Creek, Breed, Anston, Sobieski, Amberg, Osseo, Angelica, Brazeau, Waukechon, Sugar Camp, Kossuth, Lessor, Kunesh, Pulcifer, Cato, Florence, Greenleaf, Eaton, Poygan, Hofa Park, Hilbert, Hollandtown, Beaufort, Glennie, Harshaw, Bessemer, Crooked Lake, Tigerton, Goodman, Readstown, Dousman, Butternut, Montpelier, Cecil, Red River, Gillet, King, Laona, Kelly Lake, Glenmore, Tonet, Stiles, Morrison, Dunbar, Askeaton, Wild Rose. Neopit, Ellisville, Pickett, Flintville,  Forest Junction, Thiry Daems, Black Creek,  Mountain, Ledgeview, Lunds, Suring, Lakewood, Beaver, Cloverleaf Lakes, Krakow,  Pella, Townsend, Vandenbroek, Coleman,  Spruce, Armstrong Creek, Lake Gogebic, North Chase, Navarino, Pequot Lakes, Buchanan and Rio Creek.
  • Newspaper Obituary Headline Nickname of the Month:  Pud.  As in Roy "Pud" Ambrosius, Green Bay Press-Gazette,  May 20, 2016. R.I.P., Mr. Ambrosius.
  • jimjustsaying's favorite "click bait" items of the month:
  • How to tell if she grew up with brothers***6 things every dermatologist gets asked over and over again***Stars' worst concert mishaps***The top earning dead celebrities of 2015***20 stars who are convicted felons***Do you have royal blood?  Your last name may tell you***15 dirty secrets hiding in your favorite childhood movies***What I wish I'd known before I got out of prison***4 weird travel habits of celebrities***13 signs you're dealing with a psychopath***17 sure-fire ways to offend people when traveling.
  • jimjustsaying's Bumper Sticker of the Week:  Veni, Vidi, Velcro:  I came, I saw, I stuck around.
  • You're an old-timer if you can remember when you had to take the anti-freeze out of the car in the spring and put new stuff in in the fall.
  •  "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem, but they don’t really know me."-- Garry Shandling
  • jimjustsaying's Party Ice-Breaker of the Month:  "Say [actual partygoer's name here], did you know that France has become the first country to pass legislation that will ban disposable plastic plates, cups and cutlery?  The measure will go into effect in 2020, by which time all single-use tableware will have to be made of compostable materials."
  • "There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen. "-- Lenin
  • jimjustsaying's Word That Doesn't Exist But Should of the Month: LinenArctica.  The corner of the bed that is impossible to reach when putting on new sheets.--"More Unexplained Sniglets of the Universe," Rich Hall & Friends
  • One great thing about the days before television:  You couldn't "binge-listen" to the radio.
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Haud alio viaticus has umquam been hilaris reverto.  ("No one's money has ever been cheerfully refunded.")

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