Friday, November 15, 2013


  • The use of colored paper clips is an obvious cry for help.   
  • Common Advertising Pitch of Our Times:  "You can now pre-order [name of gizmo or gadget or Harry Potter book here]."  Pre-order?  You can either order something, or you can't.  There's no such thing as a "pre-order."  What they really want is your money for something that either (a) doesn't exist yet or (b) if it does, is somewhere in a cargo hold in Hong Kong harbor.
  • So, next time you get an e-mail pitch to "pre-order" something you have no intention of ordering anyway, please reply  with a notice of "pre-indifference" or "pre-refusal" to their request.  I'm not sure they would "pre-appreciate" it, but "pre- do" it anyway.  (I "pre-thank" you!)
  • I don't know which I hate most--changing the vacuum-cleaner bag or the ink cartridges in my printer.  (But I know which one costs the most!)
  • Why do people eat out at "homestyle" restaurants?  When I eat out, I want a "restaurant style" restaurant.  
  • jimjustsaying's Law of Dining:  $5 is the point at which a hamburger or a plate of spaghetti are as good as they're going to get.
  • I've been on a health kick, but maybe too much so.  I'm looking for a decaffeinated coffee table.
  • Today's Foreign Word With No English Equivalent:   Shemomedjamo (Georgian). You know when you're really full, but your meal is just so delicious, you can't stop eating it? The Georgians feel your pain. This word means, "I accidentally ate the whole thing."
  • Why are Barbara Walters and Morley Safer still working?  Did they give all their money to Bernie Madoff? 
  • jimjustsaying's Media Word of the Week (a word you'll see in print but never hear an actual person use in real life):  "Nettlesome."
  • Is there a Soft Rock Cafe for trendy middle-age folks?
  • Jim's Time-saver Tip of the Week:   If you close all the vents on your car except the one closest to you and turn it up high, you can blow-dry your hair while you drive.
  • "War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”--Ambrose Bierce
  • The Moon:  A heavenly body that affects the tide and the untied.
  • Web sites are like sex:  When you interact with one, you're interacting with every Web site that that Web site has ever interacted with.
  • The Home Shopping Network is a classic example of an idea that went wrong somewhere between conception and execution and kept getting worse.
  • Three things I've never seen in Sturgeon Bay:  A panhandler, a street mime and someone getting a shoeshine.
  • Jim's Party Icebreaker of the Week:  "Did you know that the pig is the only animal that sunburns?  That ants never sleep?  That the whip-poor-will is the only bird that hibernates?"
  • Fortune Cookie Message o' the Month:  "A tub and a rub will change your day."
  • Jargoneering:  "Upsalite"--The world's most absorbent substance at low relative humidity, says Wired.Com's Jonathon Keats.  
  • Created almost by accident, Upsalite has an estimated 1 trillion pores per gram, making it up to 20 times more absorbent than cat litter.  Uses?  Toxic-waste cleanup and controlling humidity in the manufacture of electronics.   (Kind of hard to work into a conversation, but there you have it, yey another public service of
  • Newspaper Obituary Nickname of the Week:  "Bossy."  As in Frank "Bossy" Barca  (Kenosha News obituary, July 26,  2013). R.I.P., Mr. Barca.
  • 48th Wisconsin Town I Didn't Know Existed Until I Saw It Mentioned in a Green Bay Press-Gazette Obituary:  Wild Rose.  (R.I.P.  Kenneth Tronnier,  Green Bay Press-Gazette obituary, Oct. 17, 2013).  Previous entries: Athelstane, Walhain, Duck Creek, Breed, Anston, Sobieski, Amberg, Osseo, Angelica, Brazeau, Waukechon, Sugar Camp, Kossuth, Lessor, Kunesh, Pulcifer, Cato, Florence, Greenleaf, Eaton, Poygan, Hofa Park, Hilbert, Hollandtown, Beaufort, Glennie, Harshaw, Bessemer, Crooked Lake, Tigerton, Goodman, Readstown, Dousman, Butternut, Montpelier, Cecil, Red River, Gillet, King, Laona, Kelly Lake, Glenmore, Tonet, Stiles, Morrison, Dunbar and Askeaoton.
  • Today's Latin Lesson:  Nos affero procul muneris. ("We gave at the office.")

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